Holidaze.

People are awful drivers. Once they are inspired by the holiday spirit, though, they are a force to be reckoned with. I’ve compiled a list of reminders for those of you who might be a little forgetful during this last-minute holiday rush:

-In this country, we drive on the right side of the road.

-That “thingy” sticking out of your steering column is a “turn signal.” To be used when turning, or cutting people off.

-If you’re in a minivan carrying 2 or more children, please don’t go more than 10 over the speed limit. If only 1 child, 15.

-If you are in the right lane and realize with 100 feet of leeway that you actually wanted to turn left, you are only allowed to make a full stop and block traffic if you need to cut over 2 or fewer lanes. If more, you must have at least 150 feet of room.

-If we’re at a light and I honk at you because the light’s been green for 5 seconds and you aren’t moving, it’s not because you clearly aren’t looking at the road, it’s because I’m helping you be on time for pissing off someone else!

Keep these in mind and you’ll have no problem on the roads this holiday season – go get ‘em, tiger!