Saturday, August 25, 2007

The Cold Fish.

1. Arrive at a party somewhat sweaty and/or dirty, or get ready with your naturally sweaty hands (not mandatory, but a nice touch).
2. Meet someone new.
3. Extend hand.
4. Upon contact with the other person's hand, instead of the "wrap and squeeze," simply hold your hand idle, so that your target uncomfortably squeezes something cool, damp, and totally limp.
5. You have now issued a cold fish.

I encounter this at least a few times a year. Women aren't expected to have a firm handshake (although it's pleasant when they do), so it's okay to grab a woman's limp hand without feeling too disgusted about it. But a big, hairy man-hand? Absolutely revolting. Do these guys secretly wear panties under their jeans?


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