Monday, September 17, 2007

Nebraska State Senator Sues God Over Natural Disasters.

This is the type of story that's too good to be true for bloggers. I want to make fun of it so desperately, but will look the fool if I find out it was merely a hoax, a hack by The Onion on a legit news site. But playing devil's advocate...

When asked later what would provide him satisfaction in this case, Chambers said "Obviously I want the natural disasters to stop. I could also use a few new cars and a haircut." Chambers was then mysteriously bitch-slapped from nowhere, and began weeping.

Suspecting God might have had something to do with Chambers' humiliation, reporters converged at heaven to get His official statement. "I mean, come on. Seriously." Probed for further information, God, obviously disgruntled, just kept muttering, "Seriously. Freakin' dumbass!"

In other news, Nebraskans released a statement declaring themselves the dumbest citizens of the United States, for having elected such an incredible idiot. Additionally, the forecast for the state of Nebraska for the next week ironically calls for a shit-load of natural disasters. God had no comment.

3 Comments:

Anonymous T-rapper said...

Poacher!!

6:44 PM  
Blogger OneGreenChip said...

RTFA

Chambers says he isn't suing God because he has any kind of beef with the deity. He says the suit is to fight possible laws restricting the filing of frivolous lawsuits. Chambers tells KPTM FOX 42 News that his lawsuit is in response to bills brought forth by other state senators to try and stop lawsuits from being filed.

there is some logical reason he's doing this. unfortunately, he's arguing on the WRONG side of the issue. frivolous lawsuits are unraveling american society. we're so SUE-happy.

'oh, you called me a spic!' *sue*

So I can call you a fucking asshole, but I can't call you a *racial slur*? Seems that BOTH call for fisticuffs, and neither for a lawsuit.

God knows what this buttmunching headline stealer is thinking. More than likely, He don't care.

12:16 PM  
Blogger Badger said...

Amen,onegreenchip.

4:06 PM  

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