Friday, November 30, 2007

Did "The Onion" Take Over

Because this story seriously seems like it was invented by a humorist:


But I'm not laughing.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Good Commentary.

The Cowboys just finished dispatching the Packers, but what stood out to me during tonight's game was the commentators. Bryant Gumbel and Chris Collinsworth, bravo! They were neutral, analytical, and insightful. Now I'm actually looking forward to the next time a game is televised on the NFL Network.

Sunday, November 25, 2007


Saturday, November 24, 2007

Food Coma.

As if I haven't had enough to eat the last couple days (I get turkey on both Wednesday and Thursday), my parents came up last night and brought the world's best ham with them. I apologize in advance if you order some for yourself; this ham is the reason why I generally hate ham. It's so incredibly good that it makes all other ham seem bland and gross in comparison.

Friday, November 23, 2007

The "I'm Tired" Signal.

When I'm exhausted, my body sends signals to my brain indicating so. Apparently that's not the case for dogs. Monika and I are dog-sitting for friends this weekend, and their dog is absolutely relentless. Send him outside to run a marathon in the backyard - it does nothing. He comes right back in and runs circles around you, jumping and biting incessantly.

I just read an interview with Jay-Z that gives me an idea. Someone get this dog some weed!

Damn You, Las Vegas!

I went to Las Vegas last night and checked into Bally's. Oddly enough, the clerk at the front counter became seriously disgruntled after I handed her my credit card. "You owe us a lot of money, sir" she spewed. I was at a loss. How could that be possible? Two guys named Igor and Andreeve escorted me to a dark room in the underground part of the hotel to enlighten me.

"You see, we don't deal with credit cards here, where we would have to pay a percentage of the charge to the credit card company. We check your credit card for approval, and then it's your responsibility to come to us with cash to pay your bill."

"But what about all the other times I've come here? I've used my credit card, got the item on my bill, and paid it off!"

"You and your "transactions" (said facetiously) mean little to us, or our massive arms, which we're going to use to break your legs unless you give us some money...NOW."

I was really starting to sweat at this point. Could these two bruisers really make me double-pay for every trip I'd ever take to this god-forsaken place?! Has everyone else double-paid in Vegas all this time but no one talks about it? Why was this happening to me? I was starting to feel pretty freaked out about the situation, to say the least.

Lucky for me, it was only a dream.

(Yeah, I'm such a bastard for using that last line, but I couldn't resist. Sue me!)

Sunday, November 18, 2007

I Hate Ticketmaster.

The Good - yesterday I drove past Nokia Theater in Grand Prarie and was delighted to see that the Smashing Pumpkins show that was originally scheduled for Nov 3 (I was out of town) was rescheduled for today! The show originally sold out in a few minutes, but I managed to snag one on Ticketwhore, I mean Ticketbastard, yesterday as soon as I got home.

The Bad -
Ticket price: $53.50
Convenience (pole-up-the-ass) Charge: $10.85
Order Processing (the second pole - why not?) Fee: $4.70
Additional (now they're just beating you with both poles) Taxes: $0.90
Total: $69.95

That's right, a $53 ticket turns into $70 thanks to Ticketfucker. DIE TICKETMASTER DIE!

This kind of nonsense is why I have drastically reduced the number of concerts I attend the last few years. It's sad, but true. I'll pontificate more on that later. In the meantime, I plan on enjoying some fine rock n' roll this evening.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Are You Stronger Than Me?

I'm shamelessly recycling this from a post I put on a messageboard of friends of mine, but I'd like to pose it to Scatterbrain's readers as well:

I did something interesting at the gym tonight. The trainers put on a "functional strength contest" which consisted of these 5 things:

1. Step-ups. Grab a dumbell in both hands of your choosing. Step up to a 6" platform as many times as possible in 2 minutes. Score is weight of one dumbell x reps.
2. Curls. Grab a dumbell in both hands of your choosing. Curl with both arms at the same time, keeping back straight. Score is weight of one dumbell x reps.
3. Pushups. Do as many as you can in two minutes. This was interesting because they had a cone a few inches off the ground, so your chest only had to go down to 5", instead of touching the ground.
4. Leg lift - body flat on ground, lift feet exactly 8" off the ground - hold for as long as you can. There was tape below your feet after the start so that there was no way to cheat.
5. "The Plank" On ground facing down, elevate yourself with your arms at your side; upper arm is parallel to body with elbows fixed at side, forearms perpendicular to the ground. So your forearms are like "stilts" holding you up.

I did this:
1. 35 lb dumbells in each arm x 92 reps
2. 20 lb dumbells x 56 reps
3. 90 pushups
4. 1 minute 15 seconds
5. 1 minute 15 seconds

What makes it difficult is you're doing this stuff back-to-back. So after 1, my forearms were on fire from holding the weights during the step-ups, which made it *really* hard to do curls. So the important thing is not whether you can excel in one activity standalone, but do better in all of them back-to-back. Anyway, I can barely type this since my forearms are still on fire. Can any of you beat me?

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Death and the Post Office.

They say that the only certainties in life are death and taxes; I disagree. They are death and waiting a heinous amount of time at the post office. Seriously, every single time I go to the post office I wait in a long line of at least ten minutes or so - ten minutes of pure awkwardness. No one really talks to others because everyone is disgruntled, so there is almost pure silence only interrupted by the occasional "this is freakin' ridiculous" that someone mutters under their breath. Just when you are about to see the light at the end of the tunnel, someone inevitably walks up to the counter with a ludicrous request, like sending 2,293 packages to different locations, from Luxembourg to Zimbabwe.

By the time you're finished mailing your one simple package, you are that much closer to death, so maybe there's only one certainty in life.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Format Change.

I like the general look of my blog, but think it's time to switch things up, most notably because you can't simply click on a post title to link to that particular post. Rather, you have to find the post to the right and click on that to get the accurate link, which is annoying.

So if you hop in and find that Scatterbrain is looking a little odd, it might be because I'm messing around with the template - we shall see...

Sunday, November 11, 2007


A couple nights ago I saw Barack Obama on Leno. I don't know if it was re-run (probably was, due to the writer's strike) but regardless it was the first time I'd seen the guy live on TV. It was interesting and somewhat refreshing to see what appeared to be a genuine desire to do good in the world - the desire of someone that hasn't been in the game of politics as long as many other veterans. I don't think that Obama is nearly as knowledgeable as the other candidates, and his lack of experience is a major complaint I often read about and probably his biggest foe in getting the Dem's nomination, but I'm starting to wonder if that lack of experience would actually be a bad thing. It's too early to make any judgements yet, but with our current state of the union it seems like we need a leader that's willing to trump their own party's politics in the face of doing what's right. Looking into my political crystal ball, such is the reason why I think that Guiliani has a fair chance at making a run this year. He's the Democrat's Republican, if you will. And it's my personal opinion that the only way the Democrats will not win the next election is if Hillary is their candidate.


Monika and I dog-sat for friends this past week. Miles and their dog, Caedmon, are best friends. They playplayplayplay then crash. And apparently, one minor detail I forgot from dog-sitting Caedmon in the past is that he wakes up at 6:30 a.m. on the dot, which I'm guessing is a byproduct of being used to when his parents wake up. With the recent time change, that means 5:30. The net result is that I'm massively tired and am going to sleep like a rock tonight.


When did movies get so freaking expensive? I pay something on the order of $10/month for Netflix. I get one movie, watch it, put it in the mail, and get another one a couple days later. The movies are unlimited insofar as watching and waiting for the mail cycle to complete, one at a time. I think for $20 we could have many more at one time.

Today Monika and I went to Bee Movie (more on that in a second), and tickets were $7.50 each for a matinee showing. $7.50. EACH! The night showings were $9.50 per ticket! I don't go to the movies as much as I used to, but man, prices seem to increase every time I go! Ultimately this means I'll be watching more movies at home and only heading to the theater for those I just have to see on opening day.

Bee Movie - most of the CGI flicks are pretty solid and this was no exception. I'll say that whereas many of its contemporaries (like Shrek) maintain a generally above-average level of amusement throughout the film, BM (hehe) was a little dull in some places, and absolutely hilarious in others, funny enough to make me completely forget about other parts. If you're familiar with Ray Liotta's movies, you'll find it even funnier.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

"Glengarry Glen Ross."

I finally saw Glengarry Glen Ross last night. I have been meaning to see it ever since I was introduced to Alec Baldwin's epic speech in an MBA class (I won't spoil its details for those of you who haven't seen it, but the movie is worth it for this alone). The film was worth the wait. It is heavily dialogue-driven and gives several outstanding actors the opportunity to deliver powerhouse speeches, especially Al Pacino, who is in top-ranting-form here. It's also an interesting glimpse into the cutthroat world of sales; I imagine the film is closer to reality than most would think.