Speed Demon

My boy Charles ran a 10K today, which spurred memories of last year's half-marathon, which was brutal. Here is all the explanation you need:

For those about to rock, apparently It's better to be in the UK

I’ve determined that Great Britain must be Music Heaven. For one, Radiohead hails from there, which is enough in itself. I won’t go into the laundry list of other bands from across the pond that defined a large part of rock as we know it, but I will mention one of the newest ones, if anything because they are record-holders. It’s the Arctic Monkeys.

I often read Metacritic for music reviews, and came across Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not. I soon discovered that their album sold more copies in its first week than any other album in UK's history. I can't find it for the life of me, but I think the record-holder here is N*sync (I believe at one time Backstreet Boys held it, and also Eminem at one time). So we get them, and UK gets a kick-ass punk record. What gives?

More than anything, I just find it interesting that musical taste in the UK seems skewed toward rock, while over here it's flagrantly skewed toward top-40, which usually isn't rock music. But then again, I might be wrong.

***

P.S. On a completely random note, when I first bought Dookie back in the day, I thought that Green Day were British.

Lemmings.

One more for tonight - I was just getting rocked out by Incubus' older stuff (yes, they used to rock. Hard. Come back to the light!). That Brandon is a crafty guy, I must say - I really could paste any lyric from Make Yourself in this space because they are so good, but I think this snippet from "Privilege" is enough to ponder for a while...

Isn't it strange that a gift could be an enemy?
Isn't it weird that a privilege could feel like a chore?
Maybe it's me but this line isn't going anywhere
Maybe if we looked hard enough, we could find a backdoor
(Find yourself a backdoor)

I see you in line, dragging your feet
You have my sympathy
The day you were born, you were born free
That is your privilege

Shit, Roger!

It's not that I was planning to see the movie "Running Scared" anyway, but do you really have to tell the ending to every movie you review?!?*

I have such a love/hate feeling about Mr. Ebert - I LOVE his writing and reviews. But man, he just kills me when he pulls shit like that. This is why I always promise myself that I'll hold out on reading his reviews 'till after the movie...

*Fine, it's not that he gives the reader exact details of how everything works out, but for the movie watcher with a rampant imagination that wants to be utterly surprised, he just flat-out gives too much away.

The Flaming Feces

As most of you know, I have been waiting, pacing, longing for the Sigur Ros concert to arrive, which is going to blow my head right off.

Interestingly, I happened upon the fact that The Fiery Furnaces are playing the same night at a different venue, and can’t help but chuckle. In case you’ve never heard them, thank your lucky stars because they SUCK. In fact, they don’t just suck, they SORK. There. I had to invent a new word to describe how gut-wrenchingly god-awful these clowns are. If you’re a guy, dangle your balls right above a meat grinder for 45 minutes. Listening to the Blueberry Boat EP is probably a worse experience.

Really, I should be giving props to my boy Nando, who consistently hooks me up with new, awesome, and interesting music. This, however, is the one band he’s thrown my way that’s truly heinous. I usually keep an open mind, and have no problem with the “indie” scene, because truly, a lot of indie music isn’t so independent – it’s just different from the bucket-o’-crap that gets regular rotation on the radio. The Fiery Furnaces, though, are just total assholes. They are the type of people you just want to punch in the face because they have to know that some music critic is going to be “blown away by their unique sound,” which is no better than the sound of me taking a dump.

I'm Listening to It Right Now...

...My favorite song of all time.

Before we get there, something that always interests me when I look up lyrics on different sites is grouping - that is, lyrics seem to be written down differently everywhere I see them. Line breaks here, no line breaks there, different punctuation, etc.

The following is similar to how they are written in the OK Computer CD booklet (yes, I still exclusively BUY CDs!), and how the lyrics are arranged in my head. Enjoy.

Radiohead - Let Down

Transport. Motorways and tramlines. Starting and then stopping. Taking off and landing. The emptiest of feelings. Disappointed people. Clinging on to bottles. When it comes it's so, so, disappointing.

Let down and hanging around. Crushed like a bug in the ground. Let down and hanging around.

Shell smashed. Juices flowing. Wings twitch. Legs are going. Don't get sentimental. It always ends up drivel. One day, I am gonna grow wings. A chemical reaction. Hysterical and useless hysterical and

Let down and hanging around. Crushed like a bug in the ground. Let down and hanging around.

You know, you know where you are with, you know where you are with, floor collapsing, falling, bouncing back and one day I am gonna grow wings. A chemical reaction. Hysterical and useless hysterical and

Let down and hanging around. Crushed like a bug in the ground. Let down and hanging around.

"Waiter...There's Milk in My Fries."

Link.

You at some fries and got sick to your stomach for a day or so. Or you don't believe in eating animal products.

Well, guess what? I believe that people shouldn't claim a lawsuit against anything and everything that happens to them. Can you say frivolous?

More, more, more!

I've now been studying for 14 hours. That is all.

Religious Ramblings.

"Protests against cartoons of Islam's Prophet Mohammed continued on three continents Saturday. Sixteen people were killed and 11 churches were burned in Nigeria...The violence comes a day after at least 10 people were killed in Libya and another in Pakistan, where five deaths have been reported this week."

Source.

Maybe I just don't get it. Maybe I'm too Western, too Texan, too detached and aloof about what's really important in the world because my American ways have clouded my vision. Maybe what I really need to do is be more dedicated to my religion, and any time a random person insults my God I should retaliate with violence for their violation of my sacred beliefs. Maybe since my religious beliefs tell me that violence over a CARTOON is unjustified, I should do nothing but shake my head in disbelief that some souls in this world are so terribly misguided.

I don't know much; that's one of the most important things I've learned in my life. If there is one thing I do know, though, it's that your God - whoever he/she/it/they is/are, doesn't want you to instigate violence on their behalf.

***

You know, I've thought about these recent events long and hard - it's blasphemy to them, after all - where can I draw a comparable comparison? I really can't understand the religious reasons, because if someone were insulting Christianity, I'd tell them where they could stick it, but otherwise walk away.

So perhaps I'm not dedicated enough to my religion and need to think of a more appropriate comparison. I've been sitting here pondering what's most sacred to me in my life - Monika, my family, my friends...and I have to say - if some asshole drew a cartoon insulting my girl, I'd be really pissed. In fact, I'd probably want to kick the guy's ass. But I probably wouldn't, because I think I'm of more use to my future wife not in jail.

Although I think that's a little more appropriate for my understanding of how these people must feel, nothing diminishes the irony of instigating violence in the name of religion. Then again, I guess religion has a reputation to uphold as the #1 killer of all time - we have metrics to maintain, people!

What's sad is that I can't say I'm ever surprised by any of this nonsense. I have good friends who think I'm going to hell. So what - that must mean that, say, I'm Jewish and they are Christian, right? Nope! I'm Episcopalian (sort of) and they are Catholic. Look 'em up. They say I'm going to hell, but we're on the same team! Nothing could possibly be more baffling. I mean, it's not like I'm freakin' Baptist! (I kid, I kid!) So what - we let women be priests, we let priests get married. At least as a result they aren't out ____ ____ ____!!! (Use your imagination, I think lightning will shoot through the ceiling if I codify that thought...okay, fine - it rhymes with "contesting spittle lids")

*Sigh*

Muslims of the world, my final thought is this: by protesting, by instigating violence, and by allowing this ridiculous situation to cause more media attention, more headlines, and more death, you're only giving the person that drew the cartoons what they want. They are just an attention whore, and I can't think of a better explanation than the often-proclaimed message board retaliation to morons that spout off about things they know nothing about: don't feed the troll.

Mother Nature, You Suck.

Two days ago it was 80 degrees outside. In the span of 9 hours, the temperature in Fort Worth dropped 52 degrees. Today the high is 28 and the roads are iced over. In a brief jaunt to McBee homes to show Monika's parents the model home, we saw no fewer than 10 cars spun out and wrecked. On our final bridge before the turn-off to the model home, I was drifting across the 200 feet or so, recognizing that to press on the gas pedal would be fruitless, and the dumbass behind me in a Suburban apparently thought I was going too slow and proceeded to hit the gas, then execute an Olympic-style double salchow with a perfect landing (i.e. he managed to avoid hitting anyone).

Attention motorists: you might have a truck, you might have a Hummer. You might even have 4-wheel-drive. Guess what? ICE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT!

And back to the topic at hand - Mother Nature, we are fighting. I don't mind if you pull these stunts during the work week - heck, I encourage it! But purposefully destroying our two days of freedom on the weekend? That's just cold. (shameless, awful pun alert!)

I can't think of anything more appropriate at this time...

L7 - Shitlist

When I get mad
And I get pissed
I grab my pen
And I write out a list
Of all the people
That won’t be missed
You’ve made my shitlist

For all the ones who bum me out
For all the ones who fill my head with doubt
For all the squares who get me pissed
You’ve made my shitlist

Shitlist!
Shitlist!

Tumbleweeds dancing across the desert...

...At least, that's about how often it seems that I have a chance to update the blog. But what can I do? My only explanation I can give people is that I'm "really fucking busy." So here are some random thoughts in the meantime:

-New Kids on the Block - I almost forgot how big they were at one time. Man, that was just sick! (So there was an E! True Hollywood Story on and I'm sadistic. I'M SORRY!)

-Work: it sucks when you have too little; it sucks when you have too much.

-Lunar Park: I've had it over a month now, and still haven't read a page. Crap.

-I stink right now.

-Today it was 80. Tonight it will hit 20. Welcome to Texas.

-I actually have to pay taxes this year. Which I guess, in a way, is a good thing.

-I still own you all at Mario Kart, and will prove it when I can find a damn SNES.

-I recently got a new phone, and although it's another Samsung and the software is very similar, small differences between the two are almost more annoying than having to learn a new interface altogether.

-All cell phones are pieces of shit.

-But at least this one was free (long story).

-My classmates found this particularly amusing in light of my nickname.

Have a fine evening, everyone.

Relaxation.

This weekend Monika and I went to Lake Texoma to hang out with her parents, Steph, Charles, and Jan. I haven't relaxed like that in months, if not years. I also finally saw Blazing Saddles (yes, I know, you can stop dropping your jaw now). Anyway, on to pictures!

Since we were obviously going to be there for such a long time (i.e. Friday night through Sunday morning), Monika's mom figured we needed a bit of food so that we wouldn't starve. Do you think she got enough?







































We ate well, to say the least.

Monika didn't bring a heavy jacket, and it was literally freezing out there, so I let her borrow mine...what a cutie!




















Finally, I got to fish for the first time in a while. It was pretty brutal (due to the aforementioned freezing cold and 30 mph winds), but I managed to catch this in the first 5 minutes or so...otherwise, we stood around and froze our asses off.

I’d like to apologize in advance…

...You might think you are good at Super Mario Kart, but you are actually my bitch. If we play, your feelings are going to be hurt by the thrashing you’ll endure. You might even cry, and for that, I’m sorry. Your mistake was thinking you had a chance in the first place.

Now, don’t even bring up Mario Kart 64. Anyone who is a real SMK old-schooler knows that game is completely worthless.

I have had numerous people in the past step to me in SMK match race, touting their astounding dexterity and guaranteeing that they will win. It just doesn’t happen. I used to play friends in match race back in the day to fifty wins. I’ve played people talking a big game who don’t even know how to slide the fucking kart. I mean, come on! FUNDAMENTALS, people! You’re not even wearing the right shoes on the day of the race!

So, bring on the SNES, because a SMK challenge is one I can’t ignore.

There is one person on this planet who, I will concede, is better than me at SMK – my friend Chanan. He and his brother used to play first to 50 ON RAINBOW ROAD ALONE. Now that’s hardcore.

…But let’s be serious. 90% of the chumps I run into who think they are good at Mario Kart don’t even know what Rainbow Road is, let alone knowing how to properly slide into a turn, how to properly jump out of a slide, or the nuances of the mushroom shortcuts.

Toad anxiously awaits his next round of beat-downs.

I’ve been tagged!

Besides, we all secretly love filling these things out – and reading the responses from those we send them to…

FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD
Cashier at Oshman’s
Y2K Bitch*
Student Technician
Embedded Software Engineer

FOUR MOVIES I CAN WATCH OVER & OVER
American Psycho
The Usual Suspects
Superman
Zoolander

FOUR PLACES I'VE LIVED
Houston, TX – my parents’ house
Austin, TX – West Campus
Austin, TX – Cameron Road area
Fort Worth, TX – "The Lockheed Ghetto"

FOUR TELEVISION SHOWS I LOVE TO WATCH
LOST
Desperate Housewives
The Simpsons
Tennis – any time it’s on TV. Yes, I know that isn’t technically a show, but there aren’t any other shows I watch.

FOUR PLACES I'VE BEEN ON VACATION
Onekama, MI
Boston, MA
Los Angeles, CA
Petersburg, VA

FOUR OF MY FAVORITE DISHES**
Filet Mignon – Silver Fox in Fort Worth
Paradise Roll – Nine in Fort Worth
Hunan Chicken – Jade Village in Houston
Curry Chicken – my mom and my friend Chanan’s mom make awesome curry

FOUR WEBSITES I VISIT DAILY (besides my blogroll)
www.cnn.com
www.corvetteforum.com
www.schwab.com
www.cmu.edu/blackboard

FOUR FAVORITE UNDERGRAD CLASSES
Engineering Economics
Sum, Sequence, and Multi-Variable Calculus
Masterworks of Literature: British
Engineering Entrepreneurship

FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
St. John, U.S. Virgin Islands
The driver’s seat of a Lamborghini Countach 25th Anniversary Edition
A Radiohead concert
Onekama, MI

FOUR BLOGGERS I'M TAGGING
Monika
Zach
Blake
...I honestly don’t think I know a single other person who blogs, other than Chad.


*My first internship was for company working on year 2000 compliancy. My real title was “Y2K Intern,” but my job basically consisted of data-entry, which in my opinion, is just about the most mindless activity in existence. Hence, I considered myself their Y2K bitch.

**Anyone who’s known me for more than a few minutes knows I’m the king of superlatives, so coming up with just four of my favorites is going to be an excruciatingly difficult task…

Perspectives.

I wrote the following on 12/21/05. That was the day after the meet-and-greet that Monika’s maid of honor threw for us, when we went on a Christmas light tour in a limo. One of the houses we saw freaked us out – it had literally 50 or more mini-Santas hanging from trees, with old-fashioned-doll-style blush on their cheeks that made them look sort of sinister. The next day, as I waited for some programs to compile, I imagined how that display might have come about…

…But the impetus for posting this today is inspiration from A Million Little Reese’s , which I found massively entertaining, so I figure some reciprocity is in order:

***
"
Before Santa as we know him, there were evil-midget Santas. Not too many people know about these little bastards, though. Betty and I took care of *them.*

It was 1973. Our annual Christmas Eve dinner typically consisted of
-Turkey
-Stuffing
-Cranberry Sauce
-Creamed Onions
-Green Beans
-Pecan Pie
-Beer x 12
-Shrooms

Then we’d go check out the Christmas lights, which were always entertaining at that point. This year, though, we stepped outside, and couldn’t believe our eyes! There were a hundred mini Santas laughing in unison at us! “What’s so funny?” I said. They kept laughing, though; it was deafening! Betty and I looked into each other’s eyes, and knew we had to kill them all, before they ate everyone in town! I grabbed a pair of scissors that was nearby the door, and prepared to stab them all into submission…

…a bloody hour or two later, we had finished them off. The bodies were piled all over our lawn, though. Thinking it would be a great deterrent to keep the little demons from coming back again, we strung ‘em all up from our tree branches, and had a mini-Santa gallows in our front yard. And I haven’t heard a peep from their kind ever since. Damn straight.
"

***
"
Yeah, um, I remember them – the crazy fuckers with the hanging Santas? Yeah. It was a loooong time ago, though. My wife had interrupted a perfectly good “It’s a Wonderful Life” viewing telling me I had to see something. I went over to the window, and thought that I was hallucinating or something, but sure enough, these people were in their front yard, in the freezing cold, laughing hysterically, making little Santa Clause dolls and stringing them up in their trees. Man. That was freaky. I mean, it’s Santa, for God’s sake!
"

Caution: Eyebrow Crossing.

I don’t consider myself Democratic or Republican, but I know when I’m being taken for a ride.

I just don’t understand the people the Democratic Party chooses to represent them these days. Last night the Democratic rebuttal featured “fresh meat,” newly inaugurated Virginia Governor Tim Kaine. The money shots featured the line “there’s a better way,” accompanied by the biggest Dr.-Evil-eyebrow-raise I’ve ever seen in my life – “Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?” And each time he did it, I heard the subtext “you motherfuckers are so stupid! Come on, give the Democrats some love, and we’ll take care of the smarts. You just kick back and watch TV.”

Now, I understand that this is a young, promising candidate for the Democrats, who might have some cross-party appeal – but since Clinton destroyed America’s trust by lying to our faces, the party has badly needed someone who at least *seems* genuine (see Exhibit W: “Nuke-you-lure.” People like transparency, even if it sounds a little ignorant).

Someone send this guy to charm school while he still has a chance.